


Heist Checklist

by KDblack



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: DCMK Secret Santa, Gen, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Kaitou Kid Heist (Meitantei Conan/Magic Kaito), Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid Needs a Hug, Lists, Mentions of other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28197255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDblack/pseuds/KDblack
Summary: First things first: find a target.(A list of things to keep in mind if you're going to be a teenage phantom thief.)(And you are.)(You don't have a choice.)
Relationships: Hakuba Saguru & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid & Nakamori Aoko
Comments: 15
Kudos: 71





	Heist Checklist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kiwili](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiwili/gifts).



> A gift for [Kiwilart](https://kiwilart.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Written for DCMK Secret Santa 2020. Hope you like it!
> 
> The prompt was for anything with Kaito in the middle. I ended up writing hurt/comfort... I think. Does it still count as hurt/comfort if the one comforting you is yourself?

First things first: find a target. That means doing your research. Sometimes you're lucky enough that an opportunity drops into your lap, but most of the time, you're stuck combing through gemstone listings and trying not to tear your hair out.

How many doublet gems are there in the world? Too many.

How many of them have associations with moonlight? Who knows.

Which of them could be Pandora? Nobody's around to answer that. It's up to you to solve this mystery, even though becoming a detective is the last thing you've ever wanted to do. You’re here to bring wonder and magic to the world, not take it away. Still, you pour over collectors' magazines and museum catalogues, online articles and painstakingly transcribed rumours, searching for something, anything, that could contain Pandora. Trying to put off the day you have to go after the legendarily cursed Hope Diamond a little longer. After everything you've experienced, you aren't willing to discount the possibility that it's actually lethal, and you've got enough murder in your life already. If you want more, you can just put on a cute wig and drop by Meitantei's little gang on one of their extracurricular investigations. He's good, but you're better. You can wring a few hours of fun out of his grubby little mitts as long as you don't tip him off too soon.

That said, be sure to avoid Meitantei when you're picking a target. He'll know somehow and nothing you can do will throw him off the trail. Where Hakuba locks on to you, Meitantei locks on to your quarry, and you're not sure which is worse. They're both fun in their own right, at least. If this was just about enjoying the clash between artist and critic, detective and thief, then you'd be having the time of your life watching them chase after you.

But it isn't. So once you find your target, put away thoughts of too-bright children and infuriating blonds and get to work.

Be prepared. Write up lists of everything that could possibly go wrong and come up with counter-measures. What if Hakuba flies back from England unannounced and handcuffs you to himself again? What if Meitantei tricks you into outing yourself before you're ready? What if you accidentally blow your cover with something you shouldn't have memorized? What if that huge martial artist is there, fists raised, jaw set, ready to destroy you? Fun as it may sound, letting yourself get wrecked isn't an option any more than letting yourself get caught. Which means you need plans for every possibility. Get on that.

You need escape routes. More than that. Still more. Note down every window, every rooftop access, the trapdoors that lead to attic space and basement storage, anything. Draw up maps and scribble all over stolen blueprints. You've already got them memorized anyway.

Stake out the target. Stake out the buildings around the target. Stake out entire city blocks if you have to. Make sure you know this whole area like the back of your hand. Establish a handful of fake identities you can use to get to and from the area. This is how you make sure you'll be able to disappear.

Call your mom. She likes to hear from you. Dance around the words 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry' while still getting the message across. Try not to make each other sad.

Gather your supplies. Pack in any last-minute upgrades to your glider. Test the new knock-out spray. Make sure the modified taser is tucked safely out of sight. Try not to wonder if this is the night you go too far and the cops start treating you like a real danger to the public instead of a brightly-coloured nuisance. Run over things with Jii to make sure you're both on the same page. Listen intently to every tidbit of information he lets slip about your father's thieving days. Store those details away in your head like the precious jewels they are.

Get into the right mindset before you head out. Think of the applause, the shouts of joy, the millions of people calling your name. Think of the sheer wonder they must feel as the world transforms into a stage. Think of Nakamori flushed red and yelling, chasing you down with a fierce grin and more energy than he's had in years. Think of the frustrated respect in Meitantei and Tantei-san's eyes as they struggle to understand how you've done it this time. Think of Akako cackling in her witchy lair, all of her resentment swept away by admiration.

Don't think of Aoko glaring sullenly at the TV, willing your wings to fail you.

Keep the numbers straight in your head. How many police officers? How many security guards? How many nosy detectives willing to get you killed if it proves they were right? No, wait, that's too harsh. You're sure Meitantei doesn't mean it. If one of his soccer balls hits the wrong place and snaps your glider like a twig, he'll be horrified. But that won't change a thing.

Ah, forget it. You can't be depressed on a heist. There's too much risk attached. One of the most observant people in Japan might notice, even if nobody's ever noticed it before – not eight years ago, and not now. Not with all the pain locked up behind a flawless poker face. So let it go, enjoy the limelight, smile like the impossible lunatic you are. Don't think about the ugly lines the bulletproof vest makes in your suit, the snipers who may or may not be waiting for a clear shot, the police reports that will never include a mention of gunfire no matter how loud the shooting gets.

Keep breathing evenly when the moonlight fails to reveal anything in your target. Ignore the pit that opens up in your stomach. You're avenging your father. You like being a thief. You'll do this forever if you have to. There's no reason to feel like a failure as you toss the gem back to an irritated detective, kick off the roof, and begin the long glide to safety.

Think of flying.

Whatever you do, don't think about the fall.


End file.
